Panic

Definition

panic (pan′ik)

noun

1. a sudden, unreasoning, hysterical fear, often spreading quickly

It's a funny thing, panic! It really is totally unreasonable, irrational and takes over one's mind in a strange way!... Here's what brought it on...

We had dental appointments today... I very rarely have anything done, maybe a polish (ugh, don't like that too much) and have only had one filling in my 35 years. I was feeling quite slap-dash today. The kids went first... all ok there - well, Bubbles is struggling with her teeth... there doesn't seem to be much room in her mouth for her teeth at the moment and she seems to be overly conscious about her 'smile'... I think she has a lovely smile, but she says it's all crooked and she wants it fixed... I tried to reason with her that a smile isn't just about how our teeth looked but about her and what she's like inside (using the example of Samuel looking for a new king to appoint and thinking David's brother Eliab appropriate but being told "...the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1Sam16:7), but for some reason she seems to think it *is* important to have lovely teeth for a smile! Unfortunately, she needs to wait until all her baby teeth have come out before they can think of straightening anything, and maybe when some more teeth come out, it will all fix itself anyway. Spike did well to actually sit on the dentist's chair and co-operated with opening his mouth, even if he did it with a kind of 'ha, you're not getting very far into my mouth' kind of snarl... but dentists have a way of forcing one's mouth open anyway!

So, then it's me... feeling kind of smug when the dentist tells me "ah, yes, you don't normally need anything done" (yup, that's me!)... until he tells me "ah, yes, I've been keeping an eye on one of your teeth and there's a hole there now, so you'll need a filling... I'll do it for you now... let's get you numbed up and then we'll get to it in 10 minutes.." O! Time to close eyes (don't like the look of needles) and pretend all is fine, since the kids are sitting in the room! Very strange experience while half of my face goes numb, and the kids ask what's going on, and I try and explain with half my mouth. Then the call back in... I leave the kids with the receptionist this time. I was feeling ok, until the assistant comes in and puts on what looks like a fireman's mask and takes up what looks like a hose, and the dentist picks up his implements... then the panic sets in! Suddenly I can't seem to swallow properly with the 'hose' suctioning in my mouth and I find I'm swallowing far too often; and my tongue seems to have a mind of it's own, and I'm trying to keep it away from the scary looking dental implement in my mouth; and my hands are clenched tightly together and I'm tense all over and my face is flushed; and my mind is *not* thinking sensible thoughts... Panic is totally irrational! It just consumes one suddenly and takes away all reason! But, it can go away just as quickly as it came too. It really wasn't that bad an experience... he's a good dentist... strange what panic can do!

We all had a laugh afterward, at my expense, as I couldn't speak properly and the kids thought this hilarious! Bubbles had really wanted to come in and watch me having my filling... I can see how it might have been an interesting thing to watch, but I don't think she would have seen much anyway. She wants me to have another one, so she can come see... I hope I don't have to have another for a very long time!